- Mood:
Frustrated - Listening to: within temptation.
- Drinking: water.
kso, it's nearly 6 in the morning on the 13th of may, 2008 - one month since my 18th birthday. have i even done anything that's legal to me now? no, not really. haven't bought my own cigarettes, haven't bought porn or gone to a strip joint, haven't ordered anything from the television. i'm so fucking lame. srsly.
i've decided that my photography would be much better if i had a different camera. a real one. a professional one. i'd also really like to get my hands on a polaroid, which my dad has, but i believe the polaroid company has stopped the film production. i remember seeing a petition about keeping it around or something, and i got sad that they'll be gone, but i dunno what happened.
anyway, so, i've learned [something so obvious, but i just finally realized] that i'm always wanting. wanting new, wanting better, wanting more. i don't know which is worse - the wanting, or the fact that i'll never get what i truly desire. but such is life, eh? i mean, even if i had everything that i want at this moment, i'll always want more - i believe it is human nature. the ol' "can't buy happiness/love/etc." bullshit.
but whatever.
i'm rambling. D:
brad says that he hates that i play domo, played maplestory, etc., and deep down i hate it, too. i hate that i use insignificant pixelated games as my escape in life. sometimes at night, i'll lay in my bed, and think about how pointless they are, these games. thus, i get to thinking about how anything computer related is pretty much pointless, how pointless life is altogether. but hey. it's what i do best, really.
i say that a lot, the whole "it's what i do best" shit. AND HOLY FUCK I CANNOT THINK OF THE WORD I WANT TO USE RIGHT NOW. FUUUUUUCK.
MEL HELP ME. D:
shallow little bitch trying to make a scene.
Disbelief
Relief
Hurt
